Am I Being Bullied at Work? What Should I Do?
If you are searching for information about bullying at work, there is probably a reason.
Perhaps your manager’s behaviour towards you has changed. You may be repeatedly criticised, undermined in meetings, excluded from conversations, given unreasonable demands or spoken to in a way that leaves you feeling anxious, humiliated or constantly on edge.
Or perhaps nothing seems serious enough on its own, but when you look at everything together, you know something isn’t right.
If you think you may be experiencing bullying at work, don’t ignore that feeling — but don’t rush into taking formal action without thinking carefully about what has happened and what you want to achieve.
The decisions you make early on can affect what happens next.
At TrustForce, we have spent more than 20 years working on the employer side of workplace issues. We understand how HR teams and businesses investigate complaints, how evidence is considered and how employers assess risk once concerns are raised.
And there is one thing employees are not always aware of:
What feels obvious when you are living through it may look very different when an employer begins investigating it.
What is bullying at work?
There is no specific legal definition of workplace bullying in UK law.
Acas describes bullying as unwanted behaviour that is offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting, or an abuse or misuse of power that undermines, humiliates or causes physical or emotional harm.
It can be repeated behaviour or, depending on the circumstances, a one-off incident.
It may be obvious, such as shouting, threats or humiliating comments. But workplace bullying can also be much more subtle.
It might involve repeatedly undermining you, excessive or disproportionate criticism, excluding you from information or meetings, unreasonable workloads, removing responsibilities without explanation, spreading rumours or consistently treating you differently from colleagues.
It can happen face-to-face, through email or messaging platforms, during video calls or in other work-related situations.
Importantly, bullying does not have to happen in front of witnesses. Acas specifically recognises that it may happen out of sight of others.
Why can workplace bullying be so difficult to recognise?
Because workplace relationships are rarely black and white.
A manager is entitled to manage performance. They can give critical feedback, set deadlines, challenge poor work and make difficult business decisions.
So an uncomfortable conversation does not automatically amount to bullying.
The difficulty often lies in context and pattern.
A single critical email might look reasonable.
Being excluded from one meeting might be an oversight.
A change in responsibilities might have a legitimate business explanation.
But what if these things keep happening? What if they happen only to you? What if the behaviour began after you challenged something, returned from sickness absence or raised a concern?
This is where employees can begin doubting themselves.
You may find yourself wondering:
Am I overreacting?
Is this just management?
Would anybody believe me?
What happens if I complain?
Those are sensible questions to ask before taking action.
Is bullying at work against the law?
There is no standalone law that makes every instance of workplace bullying unlawful.
However, bullying behaviour can overlap with legal protections depending on the circumstances.
For example, unwanted conduct related to certain protected characteristics — including age, disability, race, religion or belief, sex, sexual orientation or gender reassignment — may potentially amount to harassment under the Equality Act 2010.
Bullying could also form part of other discrimination issues. If someone suffers a detriment because they have made or supported certain complaints about discrimination or harassment, the legal protection against victimisation may also become relevant.
In serious cases, persistent bullying that an employer fails to address could potentially contribute to a constructive dismissal claim.
The important word here is potentially.
Employment law is highly fact-specific. Two situations that sound similar initially can have very different legal implications once the detail is understood.
That is one reason we would caution against diagnosing your own situation from an online checklist.
Should I keep evidence of workplace bullying?
Keeping an accurate record of what has happened can be important.
Emails, messages, meeting records, contemporaneous notes and witness evidence can all potentially become relevant.
But there is an important distinction between having a lot of information and having useful evidence.
From an employer’s perspective, an investigation is likely to consider specific allegations and the evidence available to support or contradict them.
A large collection of emails does not necessarily prove bullying. Equally, the absence of a dramatic email saying something obviously inappropriate does not necessarily mean there is no issue.
Often the significance lies in the pattern, timing and context.
You should also be careful about taking, forwarding or retaining confidential company information or other people’s personal data that you are not entitled to have.
Understanding which evidence actually matters is often more valuable than simply collecting everything.
Before you send that email or grievance
When someone feels they are being treated badly at work, the understandable reaction is often:
“I need to get this on record.”
Sometimes that is exactly the right thing to do.
But it is worth thinking before pressing send.
Once you formally raise allegations, the situation can change. Your employer may begin an investigation, involve HR, speak to the person you are complaining about, interview witnesses and start assessing potential legal and organisational risk.
Before taking a significant step, it is useful to understand:
what the central issues actually are
whether there may be wider employment-law considerations
what evidence is relevant
how the employer is likely to interpret what has happened
what outcome you ultimately want.
You do not need to work all of that out alone.
In fact, before submitting a grievance or sending a significant email is often one of the most useful times to seek independent advice.
Thinking about raising a grievance?
A grievance can be an important step, but it can also shape everything that follows.
TrustForce can help you understand what has happened, look at the situation through the employer’s eyes and consider your options before you commit yourself to a particular course of action.
What actually happens when an employee complains about bullying?
This is something employees often do not see.
Once a complaint reaches HR or management, the employer usually starts looking at the situation differently from the employee experiencing it.
The employee may understandably be thinking:
“Look at everything that has happened to me.”
The employer is more likely to be asking:
“What exactly is being alleged, what evidence supports it, what is the other person’s explanation, what policies apply and what risk does this create for the organisation?”
That does not mean the employer has decided against you.
It means the complaint is being viewed through an organisational process.
Depending on the circumstances, the employer may appoint an investigator, speak to witnesses, review documents and ask the person complained about for their version of events.
Individual incidents may be considered separately.
This can sometimes be frustrating for employees because they experience bullying as a pattern rather than as a series of isolated events.
Understanding that difference before entering the process can be extremely valuable.
Isn’t HR there to help me?
HR may well help you.
A good HR professional should take legitimate concerns seriously, make sure appropriate procedures are followed and advise the organisation on dealing with the situation fairly.
But there is an important distinction:
HR works for the employer. HR is not your independent representative.
Part of HR’s role is to protect the organisation by ensuring that employment issues are managed appropriately and that legal and organisational risks are understood.
That does not mean you should distrust HR or avoid speaking to them.
It means you should understand who is representing whose interests.
When the issue could affect your job, health, reputation or financial position, having independent support can help restore that balance.
What if the bullying is affecting my health?
Do not simply struggle on because you are worried that acknowledging the effect on your health will make you look weak.
Workplace bullying and prolonged workplace conflict can have a significant impact on wellbeing.
If work is affecting your physical or mental health, consider speaking to your GP and deciding whether your employer needs to know.
Employers have health and safety responsibilities in relation to work-related stress. Depending on your circumstances, occupational health advice, workplace adjustments or a stress risk assessment may also become relevant.
If you have a physical or mental impairment that meets the legal definition of disability under the Equality Act 2010, there may also be additional considerations around reasonable adjustments.
Again, the precise position depends on your circumstances.
What if things get worse after I complain?
This is a common fear.
Employees sometimes worry that once they raise concerns they will suddenly find themselves facing criticism, performance management, exclusion or changes to their role.
Not every subsequent management decision will be retaliation. Employers are still entitled to manage legitimate performance, conduct and business issues.
But timing, consistency and context matter.
If your treatment changes after you raise concerns, particularly where discrimination or harassment has been raised, it may be important to understand why and whether that change has wider significance.
This is another area where getting advice early can help you distinguish between legitimate management action and something that may require closer examination.
Should I resign because I’m being bullied?
Be very cautious about resigning in the heat of the moment.
When someone has reached the point where work feels unbearable, resignation can seem like the only way to regain control.
But resigning can have significant legal and financial consequences.
Severe bullying that an employer fails to address can, in some circumstances, contribute to a constructive dismissal claim. However, constructive dismissal is a complex and fact-specific area of law.
There are also strict time limits for many Employment Tribunal claims, and the rules vary according to the type of claim and circumstances.
If you are considering resigning because of what is happening at work, getting appropriate advice before you resign can be particularly important.
When should I ask for help?
You do not have to wait until you have submitted a grievance.
And you certainly do not have to wait until you are considering resignation.
Independent support can be useful much earlier.
Consider asking for help if:
you cannot tell whether the behaviour is bullying or reasonable management
the situation is becoming worse
your health is being affected
you believe discrimination may be involved
you are considering raising a formal grievance
you have already complained but feel your concerns are not being properly addressed
you have been invited to an important meeting
performance or capability concerns have suddenly been raised
you are worried about what to say or do next
you are considering leaving your job.
Sometimes the most important advice is not about what you should do.
It is understanding what you should not do yet.
Not sure what your next move should be?
Before sending a grievance, responding to an important email or attending a significant meeting, it can help to understand how your actions are likely to be viewed from the other side.
That is exactly the perspective TrustForce was created to provide.
Frequently asked questions
Can I raise a grievance about bullying at work?
Yes. Employees can raise workplace concerns informally or through a formal grievance process. Which approach is appropriate will depend on the seriousness of the situation, what has already happened and your employer’s procedures.
Do I need witnesses to prove workplace bullying?
No. Bullying frequently happens without witnesses. Other forms of evidence and the overall circumstances may be relevant. The strength of any particular case will depend on its facts.
Is bullying the same as harassment?
Not necessarily. “Bullying” and “harassment” are often used interchangeably in everyday conversation, but harassment has a particular meaning under the Equality Act 2010. Some bullying may amount to unlawful harassment; some may not.
Should I speak to HR before getting independent advice?
You can, but you do not have to wait until you have spoken to HR before seeking independent support. If you are concerned about what to say or how your employer may respond, getting advice before taking formal action can be useful.
How TrustForce can help
TrustForce provides confidential, independent support to employees dealing with difficult workplace situations, including bullying, harassment, grievances, discrimination, performance concerns and workplace disputes.
What makes our perspective different is that we have spent more than 20 years working on the employer side.
We understand how HR teams and businesses investigate complaints, how evidence is assessed, the questions employers are likely to ask and what can happen behind the scenes after an employee raises concerns.
Our role is to help you understand your position and your options so that you can make informed decisions about what happens next.
If you are worried about what is happening at work, you can arrange a free 20-minute, no-obligation initial consultation with TrustForce.
Visit www.trustforce.co.uk or email support@trustforce.co.uk.
You do not need to have decided what you want to do before you speak to us. Sometimes understanding your position is the most important first step.